Parental Coaching through Positive Psychology
Grey hairs, Wrinkles and Belly Laughs
Lets face it none of us are Mary Poppins, we all have our good days, our bad days and our coping days! However, there are times when you just need a little extra guidance, an insight into what is "normal" or how you can possibly change things to makes some situations run smoother or a little more harmonious. Sometimes parenting can just be plain frustrating and uncertain.
Parental coaching through positive psychology teaches parents how to coach themselves in situations as they develop. It gives parents confidence back, the knowledge that they are guiding their child in the right direction through positive means. It is a two way tool, it helps parents feel more in control, understand developmental phases and have strategies at their fingertips. It also builds their child's resilience, giving them a host of competences and valuable tools allowing them to face the world with confidence and the ability to bound back when life throws them curve balls.
Using the tools of positive psychology we will look at your child and your child's environment and work together on specific areas proven to help you as a parent and to let your child flourish. This in turn will also create a more harmonious and fulfilling venture between parent, child and environment.
Parental coaching gives parents the confidence to guide their children towards being resilient. Parental coaching explores:
Effective Discipline - age appropriate
Realistic Expectations/Parent Self Care
Nurture Positive Emotions
Discover and Develop Strengths
Getting into Flow: Let Time Stand Still
Directed praise / Celebrating Effort rather than Success
The Growth Mindset: No Roadblocks only Learning Opportunities
Discovering Internal Dialog - Assessing Whether it is Correct
Positive parenting builds resilience: the impact on your childs future
Resilience seems to be the foundation of our children's ability to flourish. In order to understand the degree to which resilience drives our children's future I give you this example. Dr. Seligman's illustration was clear when he asked parents: "In two words or less, what do you most want for your children?" The answer was: ‘Happiness’, ‘Confidence’, ‘Contentment’, ‘Balance’, ‘Good Stuff’, ‘Kindness’, ‘Health’, ‘Satisfaction’. In short, you most want well-being for your children.
He then asked "In two words or less, what do schools teach?" The answer is ‘Achievement’, ‘Thinking Skills’, ‘Success’, ‘Conformity’, ‘Literacy’, ‘Mathematics’, ‘Discipline. In short, schools teach the tools of accomplishment.
Notice that there is almost no overlap between the two lists. Furthermore to illustrate just how important factors outside of accomplishment are such as self-worth, the core of resilience, take a look at the graphs below. These graphs are from Prof. Judge's work assessing the impact of positive psychology constructs on success (Judge, T. A., & Hurst, C. (2007). Capitalizing on one's advantages: Role of core self‐evaluations. Journal of Applied Psychology, 92(5), 1212‐1227). What was assessed is what they call "core self evaluation" which is a sense of self-worth. This is assessed against annual income up till the age of 50 years. Granted money should not be the measure of the "good life" but it does speak volumes in terms of the goal of "accomplishment" that schools teach and that this clearly is not enough. The graphs speak for themselves.